How Old Am I?

Tomorrow is my birthday. And it’s not just any birthday. It’s a “milestone birthday.”

I’m turning 40.

Typically, my birthday is fraught for me–for someone who does a lot of soul-searching, the timing is challenging. It’s just too much reflecting! 

My birthday is right after Thanksgiving thankfulness, Holiday (chosen) family time, and New Year goal setting. It’s the holy trinity reflecting what you have, who you surround yourself with, and where you’re going. 

And then BAM! You’re also a year older (not to mention everyone is doing “Sober January” when you’re hoping they’ll raise a glass to you).

Season of Reflection

The birthdays when things are fraught usually follow a season of reflection where I conclude that I’m not happy where I am. Or unsure of where I want to be. Or both.

Where I am now

At work, I’ve wondered if I was in the right industry...

And why I wasn’t enjoying as much success as my peers.

I ask myself how I build on past successes and acknowledge that I have even had past achievements.

Personally, the story was about not loving where I lived. I was unhappy with my community and did not love who I loved (if I had someone to love).

And I know I’m not alone. 

Because there are 2 key moments when people call me…

One is when their birthday is coming up, or they just had one. Because for some of us, it’s a built-in moment to take stock.

Second is if they are feeling unclear or unhappy in their career. And I am here for it! Because knowing that I can help someone brings so much meaning to my life.

Where I want to be

Over the last 4 decades of my life, and in the past 4 years of helping womxn get clarity on their career destination and path, I’ve realized the way to be happy is, yes, of course, to be happy where you are. But I’ve found something else to be true…

Here’s my happiness hack: 

Know your destination, and TRUST that you’re on your path.

So am I a happy, chill startup founder with an impactful multi-million dollar empire run by a collective of talented, diverse leaders in their respective fields?

Do I live in my dream home with my “perfect” partner and our happy family?

Am I fully focused on my Zone of Genius at work and home and able to delegate or automate the rest to helpful partners in work and life?

Do I have a thriving community of friends, family, and industry colleagues whom I can call for support and advice in any given situation?

The answer is…

In some ways, yes, but sometimes, I can be more consistent. 

For other questions, the answer is no. 

But not never, just not yet. And that is the key.

Reaching the destination matters less to me as long as I confidently move toward it.

And that’s where I sit, 24 hours from 40. And 12 months from now, who knows? But I’m already excited about 41, a destination I could scarcely have imagined.