New Rules of Networking for Ambitious Mid-Career Women in 2023
Too often, serious professionals only think to reach out to their network when they want something - specifically, a job.
And maybe that worked in the days when folks stayed at one organization for much of their career. You didn’t have to reach out too often.
But these days, the average worker will change roles every 3-5 years. And since the #1 way of finding your next role is through your network, that begs the question:
“What are the new rules of networking?”
By the end of this blog you will learn:
How networking changes as you move up in your career
What good networking looks like
3 rules of thumb when networking in mid-career
Rule 1: Mid-career networking is special
In his book, The StartUp of You LinkedIn’s CEO, Reid Hoffman describes the current employment situation like this:
“There used to be a long term pact between employee and employer that guaranteed lifetime employment in exchange for lifetime loyalty; this pact has been replaced by a performance-based, short-term contract that’s perpetually up for renewal by both sides.”
That means that for everyone it’s now normal and expected to consider changing roles or organizations every 3-5 years.
Mid-career has a certain caveat. Something that makes it different from how we used to approach those next roles. It’s a pivot point for many toward high-impact, high-influence roles.
At the same time, the higher up you go, the fewer opportunities are posted on LinkedIn or gained by answering a random ad.
To land leadership roles, your network is the source.
Breaking it down even further, it takes about 6 or so months to land a new role (and often longer if you’re looking to get promoted). So when you get down to brass tacks you’re looking at tapping your network every 18 months to 3 years.
And if you’re looking to continue moving up, some of the people you meet now will be the links that move you toward your career goals later.
So, what does that mean for networking?
Let’s go back to Reid Hoffman:
“Searching for a job only when you’re unemployed or unhappy at work has been replaced by the mandate to always be generating opportunities. Networking has been replaced with intelligent network building.”
Intelligent network building in action
When I left my career as a Hollywood TV writer and got super clear that I wanted to serve ambitious mid-career women working within organizations, I had to reorient my network toward that.
I became active in various female-forward communities. Over time, I posted and interacted enough times and offered enough advice on career and leadership growth that a moderator tagged me on a post about a LinkedIn Group for coaches and consultants.
I joined it. Over time, and after a few posts to the group about the work I was doing, the founder of the group, whom I’d never met in person, referred a career coaching client to me.
I worked with her to find her brand and value proposition, build a career vision, get buy-in from decision-makers, and yes, how to network intelligently. What began with this client as a job search ended up in getting her promoted to partner at her current organization.
She is still a coachee today and thanks to her position, she invited me to build an employee workshop at a large tech firm about some of the topics I had taught her.
All because I knew exactly who I wanted to connect with, and what my message and offer were and added enough value that opportunities began generating themselves.
As for the woman who started the LinkedIn group and referred me? I recently participated in a monthly business leadership circle with her and other professional women. We have never met in person, but she’s helped me generate a number of financial, brand-building, and networking opportunities. Which reminds me - I should write her a thank you note.
By the way, did you know there are 2 types of networking? They both take wildly different approaches. I break them down on the blog: “Do You Have What It Takes to ‘Power Network?’ If you want to see if you’re ready for it, click here.
Rule 2: Know where you’re going
If you’re going to take someone’s time, pay to go to a conference, or pour energy into being part of a community, knowing your end game can help guide who to talk to and what to say in each meeting.
Have you ever been on the receiving end of a networking call with someone who doesn’t know what they’re going for?
I can’t tell you how many aspiring writers came to me wondering how to break into the business without any real clue as to what shows they wanted to write for, or ever having written much before, or even Googling around some.
The result was that I did not feel inclined to hook these folks up with agents or managers.
Now if they told me: I want to write for a period drama like Bridgerton and I’ve written a few things like it, I would’ve said: send me a writing sample and we’ll go from there.
I see the same play out in job and promotion searches.
Because the instinct is, if I think I want to work at Apple, I should find anyone I know who works at Apple and go from there.
No.
In mid-career, shooting from the hip ain’t cute anymore.
I talk a lot about knowing your Long Term Career Destination (LTCD) - aka a 5-10 year plan. Knowing that can help you figure out what kind of organization you want to end up in and what you want to do there. It also unlocks whose help you need to get there.
Unless you’re 95% sure Apple’s for you and you know what you want to do there, reaching out too early in the process means you run the risk of showing up without a plan and asking them to do the heavy lifting of figuring out what you want to do.
Without a goal, you risk burning through your best connections before they can help you.
Now if you’re sitting here asking yourself what you want, there is a discovery process to figuring out what you want next in work and life. I highly encourage taking time and space to work that out on your own time by speaking with really attuned friends or people who have a knack for this… like a coach (you knew that was coming).
Rule 3: Know who to network with
I have never been a political animal, but I quickly realized that at the center of any decision was a person. And to get anywhere with anything - getting the job, landing the promotion, moving people toward your vision, you had to get buy-in from a decision maker.
This brings us back to your why.
In mid-career, you have enough information about what you’re good at, what you like, and where you thrive to start to articulate what you want long-term, your LTCD.
If you know where you’re going–that you’re interested in joining a boutique AI firm or moving to the partnerships team, who you need to talk to becomes clearer.
Who I networked with has changed over time, depending on what I’m creating in my business.
Over time, I’ve grown my network from mostly people I went to school with to include:
Ambitious mid-career women who have trusted me to guide their careers
Other coaches to partner with in marketing efforts or to grow my team
Organizations–companies and ERGs–that provide learning and development opportunities to help people make the jump to managerial positions
Depending on the type of organization you’re trying to join or business opportunity you want to generate, there will be different seasons and waves of networking.
Rule 4: Give as much value as you get
If you’re one of the many who thinks networking feels gross, it’s probably because you associate it with asking for things without offering anything.
And networking only when you need something immediately is just that.
When it’s all one-sided, it will likely feel gross.
The cool thing about networking in mid-career is that you know stuff. A lot of stuff. That means you can give as much as you get.
This is a practice called “adding value” and it looks a lot of ways in networking conversations:
Helping to solve a problem through expertise
Sharing a point of view that’s grounded in relevant experience
Giving a case study that might give insight
Asking intelligent questions
Liking a post online
Leaving a thoughtful comment or question that invites dialogue
Reposting and tagging the original poster
To do all this, asking the person you’re networking with about them, their work and current situation can generate avenues where you might add value.
Rule 5: Make it happen
The best way to start a networking habit is to build it into your day, week, or month.
You know that thing people talk about when they say you should lay out your workout clothes each morning so you are more likely to workout?
There’s a networking version of that.
Calendar is key.
If you don’t want to live your life on LinkedIn, it can help to dedicate an hour once a week or every other week for networking chats.
Right now, pick an hour when you can meet with people. Or scroll LinkedIn and message folks. Or better yet, take the time to figure out what you want out of your career future before reaching out.
Before you go out there and network, did you know there are 2 types of networking? Depending on where you are in your process, you’ll need to adjust your approach. I go through them on the blog: “Do You Have What It Takes to ‘Power Network?’
If you want to know that answer, click here.