How To Convince Your Boss To Do What You Want (Without Selling Out)
Why does making an ask feel like a trap door to selling out?
And how do we act like the grown ass adults we are so we get over that feeling?
Finally, after 10 years of dreaming about it, J is finally starting her production company.
She's an accomplished producer and political fundraiser and has a Rolodex to rival Ari Gold that positions her perfectly to start the next socially conscious media company–think Participant Media (An Inconvenient Truth, Green Book, any political movie starring George Clooney) but with a female bent.
We have what she does best.
What she wants to create.
THIS IS WHERE IT GOES PEAR-SHAPED
This is where most people (especially artists) will go create. Going out in search of the next project that ignited her passion is what J felt most comfortable doing.
If you're working at an office, you might pitch projects you're interested in.
If pivoting careers, maybe you highlight the parts your ego cares about the most: the random award you won. The JDs, MBAs, PhDEFGs, etc.
The idea of asking her audience what they want before figuring out the product or how to position it gave J hives. It smacked of inauthenticity.
Because this brand was her heart and mind, it came out of what she thinks society needs and, as importantly, what *she* wanted to put out there–caring about what the market/her audience wanted to be felt like selling out.
It's Not Selling Out. It's Empathy.
Before accusing me of insulting the muse, allow me to explain.
Imagine your brand - who you are, what you do best, your strengths & skills and the bright future where you're taking your talents - as one part of a Venn diagram.
Now think of the other as what your audience - boss, recruiter, talent booker, head of Netflix really needs in this moment.
If these two circles don't ever wanna touch, then yeah, it's not your responsibility to give your circle a hernia to reach out and please that audience.
In fact, if that's the case, it's not a good fit, and you should pedal your wares elsewhere.
But if these stakeholders are really the gatekeepers to your dreams, there is a sweet spot. It's in the middle: Where your realness and their needs overlap.
In J's case, she despaired: "Buyers don't want projects about feminist history. They want true crime."
Some of the best films ever mix genres. Have you guys ever seen Hanna? It’s a coming of age road movie mixed with a sci-fi action film. It’s probably one of my favorite movies ever. But I digress.
What if, I suggested, there was a project that did both?
"Do you think in the continuum of history there's an untold feminist story and that happened to include a murder?"
LA wasn't built in a day. She's still not perfectly comfortable calling in favors to go on a listening tour of Hollywood, but at least she has a clearer picture of the projects she might go for -- and that will actually sell, which is, after all: the future she envisions. But she does feel just a little less gross about it.
The First Step
Uncovering your truth, standing in it, then knowing when to bend, not break: not easy. But if we're here to advocate for ourselves and show others how we must begin.
Begin by filling in this first circle. Getting to know who you are and what you want, then understanding you'll never get there alone... that there are places you can expand that are natural, if not predictable, extensions of yourself rather than violations.
Compromising where you want to go for the sake of a sale is selling out. Getting to that same result in an unexpected way that fulfills the spirit of the law, if not the letter: that's called growth.
Without your audience's input, you could end up just creating for yourself. And that's awesome. But it may take a lot longer to gain the exposure and make the impact you want.
Curious to learn more?
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