Why You're Not Moving Up & What To Do About It
It's 3 months until 2020: Are you telling the powers that be the wrong story?
I had a friend who, at the Monday morning meeting, would count out the muffins, make the photocopies, and arrange chairs. She's 37, a manager fostering innovative ways to drive revenue.
She's ambitious, resourceful, and looking to make a director. It upset her when people ask her to switch the Starbucks to Blue Bottle or banish raisins from the scones.
Another woman works at one of the biggest, splashiest tech company. She went there when from another Silicon Valley Darling. She went to an Ivy, has a dozen people reporting to her. Is in wall to wall meetings, half of which she leads.
She also sets all her meetings. Books her travel. Her team often interrupts for input on things that don't dent the bottom line. Coming in to work on 5 hours sleep, she sees the volume and scope of what she does compared with her colleagues, and it seems unfair. Especially when said colleagues get the promotion.
They ask: Why do you treat me like the secretary when I should be in the board room?
Your story isn't just what's written or spoken. It's not just your LinkedIn or your deck. The title on your business card, a perfectly blended resume.
Your story is how you move through the world. How you act like the CEO, the director, the authority in your space.
Ghandi said:
Your beliefs become your thoughts.
Your thoughts become your words.
Your words become your actions.
I'll tack onto that - your actions become the reaction you receive from others.
Beliefs ----> Thoughts ----> Action ----> Reaction
If you act like a secretary, how can you expect to be treated like an executive?
If you operate from a place of overwork & fatigue - how can you expect more meaningful responsibility?
If you want to be "the ideas guy," how will you ever be seen this way if you dedicate no time to having these ideas because you're always doing doing doing?
Somewhere in there, there is a belief that starts this whole domino stack.
Belief: "If it isn't perfect, I will be penalized." -->
Thought: "I should make sure this is perfect" -->
Action: spend time color coding report unnecessarily -->
Reaction: boss thinks "Ooh, she's crafty!" not - "we should promote her."
Belief: "Everyone is incompetent but me" -->
Thought: "If I don't do it, no one else will." -->
Action: Instead of delegating, I do the task myself -->
Reaction: coworkers assume I'll just do everything and so let me
Belief: "I'm not enough" -->
Thought: "If I did become a leader, I'd screw it up" -->
Action: Lean into places I'm competent, execute well but shrink from opportunities that would force me to flex & lead -->
Reaction: boss considers me a good soldier, not a general
Identifying this belief, recognizing it when you are beginning an action then choosing another path, and finding it's okay when you don't pick up the doughnuts or make strict office hours for colleagues and tell them nicely when their requests do not rise to your level.
Repeating new actions changes beliefs. Reframing & holding new beliefs change your actions.
Updating your LinkedIn does not.
It's 3 months until January 2020.
What new action are you going to take to become the decision maker you know you should be by now?
Are you ready to rock?
ps: I use the word secretary with intention. Being an incredible executive assistant is a rare skill and talent of its own. However, the ones that know their worth understand how rare they are, charge accordingly and know how to delegate, too. Presumably, they choose this position so enjoy excelling at these duties. I highly doubt they call themselves "secretaries."