Are You Networking Like a Leader?

If the thought of connecting with professional acquaintances for the sole purpose of asking for something feels dirty and needy, congratulations, you are in good company. 

Building Relationships

Many stress about putting themselves out there with an old boss or potential mentor, especially if introducing themselves as someone with a clear mission, ambitious new vision, or a next-level identity. It can be awkward to roll up to people you know and say: ‘Remember that old person you used to know? Disregard. This is the new me.’

It can feel like the professional equivalent of coming back from a trip to England with a British accent.

It all goes to show that as you grow and ascend in your career and maturity as a leader, your relationships and skills will play an increasingly critical role in opening the doors to the right opportunities. 

Because leadership is about being given more and more responsibility and influence, the trust factor conferred onto leaders must be high. 

Using Your Emotions

As of this writing, our robot overlords haven’t yet figured out how to calculate an impartial ‘Merit Score’ to fairly dole out rewards, so we’re stuck with people.

And people have feelings, hopes, and visions. They also have fears and biases.

And when they’re being lazy, they will often connect with people who are like them (affinity bias), perceive to be attractive (beauty bias), went to a great school (halo effect), and on – for a list of biases and how many you’ve been affected by or guilty of checking yourself here.

We cannot control or necessarily change (unless that’s your literal business). However, if you can create alignment between you and them in those arenas and demonstrate how your work can serve their needs, you might find it easier to locate an opening or common ground.

Especially with weaker connections or others that may not be otherwise open to you.

If you offer a thirsty person water, they may not care what container holds it as long as it’s water. 

When viewed in this light, networking can be seen as connecting on a common cause and hopefully influencing folks to understand that heading in your direction benefits them too.

When we approach networking as an equal exchange of value, we open the door to a deepening alignment of values.

When we shift our understanding of what networking is about and who it’s for–not just for you, but for us, not just for short-term gain but for long-term, values-centered connection–it makes networking less gross and more of a lifelong microcosmic practice of a number of people leadership skills: clear communication, aligning on vision, storytelling & influencing.