5 Ways High-Value Leaders Handle Layoffs
This time last year, I was on the patio of a beach cafe clinking glasses with my dear friend Anita.
That afternoon, Anita’s company had let her go over Zoom.
And as someone who’s coached hundreds of women through career transitions and up levels in many types of organizations throughout many industries, I get a lot of these calls.
Anita, like a lot of people who just got let go, was a mix of emotions.
She was shocked at the news. Sad at losing her role. Angry she hadn’t been given a chance to succeed. And just confused AF.
“What do I say to hiring managers?”
“Forget that, what do I tell my parents?”
This brings us to a great question: When I get laid off or passed over, what story can I tell?
If you’re reading this blog just after you’ve been let go, let me just say: I’m sorry. That sucks. And I know it will also shift for the better–if I have anything to do with it :)
In this blog you will learn:
Why every professional needs a story
Guidelines for taking charge of your story
Every Professional Needs A Story
Humans are storytelling machines. Stories are how we make sense of the seemingly random things that happen in our lives.
Think about a breakup–of a relationship, a friendship, with a family member.
At the time, it can seem like the end of the world–I have been there.
But with perspective and some time, we can begin to tell a new story. One about how it was the best for both parties.
How it was no one’s fault and that we are just fundamentally different people.
We rehearse and repeat these stories until we land on something that works for us. Something that casts us as the hero (or the villain).
And this isn’t limited to life and relationships. It’s happening at work all the time.
A story about being laid off can be seen much like a break-up story. To move through the negative emotions of the trauma (and getting laid off can be seen as one), we need a narrative that allows us to move on.
As professionals and human beings, we need narratives about all parts of our work so that the thing we do day in and day out has meaning to us and to others.
We need a story about:
who we are at work, called a brand.
what our work does, called a value proposition.
where our career, our team, or our organization is going, called a vision.
Now that you know why as a professional you need a story, let's dig deeper into the guidelines for taking charge of your story.
You Own Your Story. It Does Not Own You.
The beautiful thing about your story is that it’s yours.
No matter what’s happened,
you hold the pen that writes your story.
And that story, like your breakup story and any other story, will evolve.
When it comes to getting let go, it’s normal to have a lot of feelings about it–to be angry, sad, and freaking out at first. And in the beginning, just like with a break-up story, you’re going to need a safe place to workshop your feelings and find your narrative.
Talk to close friends, to family, to a coach. People who have been through what you’re experiencing or have expertise in this area.
And when speaking to other laid-off colleagues, which is a place that we like to go really quickly, I recommend choosing people who listen actively rather than turn the trust tree into a bitch session (which may not really get you where you want to go).
As much as possible, in this stage, just watch how you’re telling the story right in that moment. And then think, how do you want to tell the story when you have to share it externally?
Concentrate on the Situation Vs. The Players
If there was no gross negligence on your employer's part (outside of the general friction that can come with work and life), tell a story about how the situation wasn’t right vs. pointing the finger at one person.
This is not easy to do, especially right after the incident, so give it time and talk it out to get to this place.
If you were part of huge sweeping layoffs, emphasize the climate that caused the firings vs your actions or relationship with your manager.
If you were the only one, consider if the organization’s culture or role were the right fit vs the exact personalities in question.
It’s the difference between “My manager had it out for me” and “Leadership wanted to take the team in a direction that did not align with my vision and value.”
Keep it High Level & Be Concise
A great way to keep from needing to do a deep dive is to keep the description short and to spare the details.
Nothing says “there’s a story here” than you launching into a huge story!
It can help to practice your talking point in mock interviews or in discussions with friends or a coach.
Focus on the Future
At the end of the day, your story is yours, even if what you’re saying is designed for someone else.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation or any gory details.
If pressed, focus on what you learned and where it’s taking you next. Because every experience is a learning experience. So tell the story of what you learned about yourself and your work and where that’s now taking you.
Practice Makes Perfect
Telling and retelling your story is a way to internalize your truth–for you and yeah, for recruiters too.
Because repetition is one way we learn.
Practicing your story in writing, in a journal, in the shower, with close friends, or a coach is a great way for it to roll off the tongue when the time comes.
In my discussion with my friend Anita the night she was furloughed, I helped her land on this story:
"This job wasn't what I was supposed to be doing."
That’s it. That was her story. And it got her to reflect on what she was supposed to be doing–which was to build an app she believed in.
I hope, for anyone dealing with a job loss, you find the right story for you.
I’m rooting for your long-term success!
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