Why Nobody Is Tapping You on the Shoulder (for an Internal Project or Meeting)
In mid-career, you should be in that meeting.
And if not and you ask yourself one of these questions…
“Why am I not getting the visibility opportunities I need to align with my long-term career goals?”
“How do I evaluate which opportunities are the right ones for me?”
Then, this blog is for you.
Picture yourself: It's Monday morning, you're sitting at your desk…
For weeks, you've been working on this huge project; you know it inside and out. In fact, it's safe to say you consider yourself the person with a good handle on most aspects of it.
You've coordinated across departments and leadership.
You delivered your part of the project well, you've gotten great feedback.
It's going to be a feather in your cap, something that you know you can talk about in a review.
In fact, you’ve got a couple of great ideas about how to make the project even better, and then…you get an email.
It is about the project, there was a meeting (and you’re not invited).
Suddenly, you're staring at a list of solutions that you're either about to pitch or have strong opinions about.
And that stings.
Have you been there? Not tap for a meeting, an opportunity, or a project that should have raised your visibility (where you could have contributed tons if the decision-makers had only known or thought about you).
You should have been in that meeting.
Why didn't the manager think of you?
And more importantly:
How do you get into that meeting next time?
How do you stick in leadership's mind, and
How do you get into a level so that it's a no-brainer to bring you in?
You have the skills, resources, and expertise to be a major player at work.
You are a strategic leader. Someone who can:
set a vision
execute a strategy
lead the team of your dreams
shape your organization
transform the people that you work with, their results, and even your industry!
And given how much time we spend adulting, you have less time to mess around.
This is the moment to be strategic with your career and make meaningful moves that set you up for the kind of role, lifestyle, or impact that you want to make.
And here’s the truth: Once you’re at a higher leadership level, you'll want to be in FEWER meetings – only the most important for you and your position.
Now, think about how you can be that leader.
How FOMO Can Fuel Work Goals
It's frustrating to be left out!
Those moments when: you’re the last one picked on the team, left off the sleepover invite, didn't make the play, didn't get the text back…
The “I'm not good enough” narrative that every human person has experienced.
And when it comes to work, you have every reason to care!
Significance–the sense that you or your work has an impact on others and the world–is said to be one of the “6 Human Needs”.
And that’s the reason why you take it hard when your view of your contribution doesn't match with the people deciding whose work gets rewarded.
But instead of staying in that “I don't matter” zone, reframe it to acknowledging that being recognized and rewarded at work are things that matter to you. And examine what is keeping others from thinking of you during career-defining meetings, visibility opportunities, projects, and by extension – promotion.
What Strategic Actions Will Make You a Player At Work?
It's okay to be bummed, but don't let that feeling turn into despair or overwhelm because that leads to inaction.
Instead, consider what got you here and where you want to go because that can unlock what you need to do next.
Evaluate the Opportunity
Is it the best project or meeting for you and your career goals?
Based on what you want to do, and who you want to be…do you really need this opportunity or meeting? Or is this an ego trip?
Remember: This is about what you WANT TO DO. (Which may be different from what you're currently doing.)
Example: It's a meeting about the operational aspects of the project. But you want to be more on the marketing side or the analytics side. Do you really need to be the voice of operations in that meeting? Probably not. Maybe another moment is much more relevant to you.
You don't need to be in every meeting to be important. You just need to be in every important meeting.
“Important” means that the opportunity:
Helps you cultivate a relevant skill or experience that you need to reach your Long Term career Destination (LTCD).
Strengthens your brand and expertise internally.
Provides exposure or builds rapport with key stakeholders.
If it's an ego trip, that’s okay, it's normal. But the next step is to realize that in mid-career–a time with so many other priorities–we want to make sure that every action counts.
And the first action to take is…
Define your Long Term Career Destination (LTCD)
5-year to 10-year destination.
What company do you want to work for? – what size, what do they do, where, what is their culture?
What is your role – what do you do day-to-day?
What skills and experiences do you need to have to get there?
Knowing your LTCD, and where you're going, you can figure out what your brand is.
Define your brand
Establish how you want to get to that long-term destination:
What part of that vision (of your work) do you want to be responsible for?
Is it a marketing track, finance analytics, or policy, etc?
And within that discipline, what problem do you solve?
What do you want to be known for by leadership?
Who do you want to serve?
And then you can evaluate WHY you’re not getting invited to meetings or projects that would make a big difference to your career.
Because there are a couple of things that might be going on:
You are so helpful, you do it all. You're a utility player – you're considered someone who can do anything…not a specialist.
Your brand isn't clear – It's not obvious that you're the company's “go-to futurist'' or “person who's obsessed with all things brand marketing”.
Your brand is clear but you haven't been talking about what you’re uniquely great at to the people who assign projects, lead teams, and dole out promotions.
You are talking about what you're great at, but you aren't telling a clear story about how your work helps the organization and its goals. (This is especially true if your brand is generalist, which sometimes is a relevant brand depending on the industry.)
And this is the final reason you might not be invited to the meeting. This is a big one:
You’re stifled by the system or company culture. You’re doing all the right things but you're not in an organization that values your contributions.
For example, you’re an engineering-forward Tech company that values data and bottom lines, and you're a people-first HR leader.
And if your leadership values a certain mold that is not genuine to your identity, strengths, or your style – this is often a moment when I encourage people to think about moving somewhere else. And doing all the things above will be necessary to get into that next role; figure out those first while you're employed.
Now, when you're thinking about the situation (that meeting), diagnose the situation:
Whether the opportunity is relevant to you.
Knowing where you're going and your brand.
Figuring out which opportunities are relevant to your career goals.
Defining your brand.
Knowing why your name isn’t top of mind.
Understanding these things can help clarify your next moves.
Once you are clear about what's going on, and whether it's the right meaning for you…
Ensure You’re Top Of Mind for the Next Relevant Opportunity
Depending on your diagnosis, your next steps will vary.
In the Career Strategy GPS Course, here's what clear progression looks like:
Establishing your Long Term Career Goal (LTCD)
Naming your value proposition
Identifying your stakeholders and
Framing your value in terms that matter to them
Here are a few common scenarios and what you can do next:
They see you as a utility player, not a specialist. (You don't know what you want to be known for)
First, establish your long-term career destination. Having a very clear goal will help you narrow the scope of your work. There's a huge difference if you want to be the CFO of a Global Fortune 100 company versus a Managing Director in a boutique investment firm.
From there, it will be easier to define what your value proposition is.
Your brand isn't clear. (You know want you do but you can't articulate it.)
Getting clear on your value proposition is your best next move.
And in order to do that, you have to answer a couple of questions first:
What problem do you solve?
Who do you solve it for – who is the client, the end user?
What kind of organization do you work for to solve this problem? – a huge tech company or a small startup? (There are advantages to both and also are completely different offers)
Your brand is clear but you haven't been talking about what you're uniquely great at to all the relevant decision-makers
Identify those stakeholders; who are in charge of promotions, assigning teams, and making moves in the direction of your career vision.
And then, make a list and find a way to connect with them. Make sure that they know what you're about and what you're trying to accomplish.
You are talking about what you're great at, but you aren't telling a clear story about how that connects with the organization's goals.
Frame your value in terms that your stakeholders will care about. That means understanding the organization's big-picture goals and tying them to what you do. And understanding your particular stakeholders, and their pet projects, and then adding value to share insights on those topics.
The point is to be seen as valuable. But to do that, it's not enough to talk about whatever you think is valuable. They will listen but you have to put it in terms that they can really understand.
Systemic: you're doing all the right things but your organization values a different type of contribution.
If it's clear that there's no alignment, then you got to go.
If you think there’s still a chance, you can use this playbook and see where it gets you. Once everything is clear in your mind and out in the open, that's great, you get to stay somewhere that you want to stay.
But if not, and you've done everything – you're clear about what your future is, and you have a framework on how you're going to help the organization, but you're still passed over…use this framework to get into the next organization.
If this topic spoke to you and you want to learn more, in the blog post called: “How do I Impress My Manager.”, I go into The Top 3 Skills You Need to Impress Leadership. Click here to read that next.