Why does making an ask feel so hard?
And how do we act like adults so we get over that feeling?
Finally, after 10 years of dreaming about it, Jenny is starting her production company.
She's an accomplished producer, and political fundraiser and has a Rolodex to rival Ari Gold that positions her perfectly to start the next socially conscious media company–think Participant Media (An Inconvenient Truth, Don’t Look Up, any political movie starring George Clooney) but with a female bent.
Through her work in my program, we learned what she does best and what she wants to create.
This Is Where It Goes Pear Shaped
This is where most people (especially artists) will go create. Looking for her next passion project is what Jenny felt most comfortable doing.
In an office context, you might just pitch projects you're interested in. If pivoting careers, maybe you highlight the parts your ego cares about the most: the random award you won. The JDs, MBAs, PhDEFGs, etc.
The idea of asking her audience/stakeholders what they wanted before figuring out the product or how to position gave Jenny hives. It smacked of inauthenticity.
Because this brand was her heart & mind and directly linked to her impact—reaching out to the market/her audience to find out what they wanted to be felt hard, like she was asking for too much.
What If Your Ask Is An Offer?
Imagine your brand - who you are, what you do best, your strengths & skills, and the bright future where you're taking your talents - as one part of a Venn diagram.
Now think of the other circle as what your audience - boss, recruiter, hiring manager, skip level manager, CEO of YourDream Corp.- really needs.
If the circle of who you are and what your audience wants don't ever wanna touch then yeah, it's not your responsibility to give your circle a hernia to reach out and please that audience. In fact, if that's the case, it's not a good fit and you should pedal your wares elsewhere.
But if these stakeholders are really the gatekeepers to your dreams, there is a sweet spot. It's in the middle: where your realness and their needs overlap.
In Jenny's case, she despaired: "Buyers don't want projects about feminist history. They want true crime."
Some of the best films ever mix genres. Have you ever seen Hanna? It’s a coming of age road movie mixed with a sci-fi action film. It’s one of my favorite movies. But I digress.
What if, I suggested, there was a project that did both?
"Do you think in the continuum of history there's an untold feminist story & that happened to include a murder?"
LA wasn't built in a day. Through following the process, she became more and more comfortable going on a listening tour of Hollywood and now has a clearer picture of the projects she might go for -- and that will actually sell, which is, after all: the future she envisions. That’s a hell of an offer.
THE FIRST STEP
Uncovering your truth, standing in it, then knowing when to bend, not break: not easy. But if you’re here to advocate for yourselves & show others how, beginning with yourself is the most genuine thing you can do.
All my clients begin by filling in the first circle. They know who they are and what they want and recognize that they’ll go much further with others. Reaching out for help and advice is part of the process. Doing it methodically and strategically is part of the process I lead people though.
As you talk to the people you want to pedal your wares to, you not only build relationships and become knowledgeable about market trends… you also refine your value and don’t feel shy about sharing it.
Without your audience's input, you could end up just creating for yourself. And that's awesome. But it may take a lot longer to gain the exposure and make the impact you want.
This and many more lessons in how to understand your value and network in a job search or promotion in our new Career Strategy GPS program:
A 9 month online course & group program that gets ambitious, high performing womxn hired, promoted and paid for their leadership and expertise without overwhelm or overwork.
Interested?
Fill out a 3 question application for Career GPS
If you’re a fit, you’ll receive an invitation to a FREE Private Training
Join an exclusive group of hand selected women and learn to articulate your brand and value and get your questions answered :)